Well, I'm officially back on the 2ww roller coaster.
Nearing the end actually.
If you don't know what "2ww" means... consider yourself very blessed!
Not that I'm not blessed, because I so am.
But when it comes to fertility and the waiting game...2ww stinks.
It's filled with suspense.
Made up symptoms.
And wasted money.
I am a former POAS addict.
If you don't know what that means...see above.
This month I'm trying not to be.
And it's hard.
But I'm just not ready.
There's a fine line between being confident/hopeful and being doubtful.
Being optimistic and being real.
I'm not expecting to get pregnant on the first try.
But I'm also not ready to see the negatives over and over again.
When trying for Adalyn I bought a big value pack of tests.
You better believe I tested 6 days before I was due for my period every.time. every.day. for days.
You really better believe that I continued to test after getting my first positive
a. for continued confirmation and
b. it was so exciting to see two lines day after day.
I'm not ready to see the one line.
I'm okay with not getting pregnant in the first month- really, I am.
But a negative is a reminder that we are officially back on the roller coaster.
It's been a nice break.
I wish I could turn my mind off.
I wish I could stop overanalyzing every.little.thing.
But I can't.
In the meantime, I remind myself that my hope is in the Lord.
He knows my heart.
He knows the perfect time.
He will knit this baby in His time.
For now, I'm buckled in and riding the ride.
And thanking God for my first miracle that was in His time!