Misc. Monday

Another 2 weeks have come and gone and I'm back at it with a bullet point post. 

I am on a roll.

Go me. 

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This weekend we finally cashed in some gift cards we had and went out for dinner at Longhorns.

It's been a while since we've been out to a real restaurant! 

It was delish, as always. 

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Yesterday was my little brother's first ever football game.

I was so nervous for him- worried her would get hurt {Friday Night Lights anyone??}, worried he didn't really know what he was doing, worried that he was doing it more for my other brother and my dad- but he was totally amazing. 

I hate to say we were all shocked...but we were all shocked. 

He scored three touchdowns and two 2 point conversions.

My little brother, the video gamer couch potato, did that.

I was beyond proud of him!!

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If your husband asks for these cupcakes

just.say.no.

Ain't nobody got time for 50 step cupcakes.

Next time I see "premium" I will know that it's not for me. I'm perfectly content baking "average" cupcakes.

Maybe, maybe, in my housewife, newly wedded bliss life I would have been more enthusiastic about such things.

Four years in and with a toddler, the last thing I want to do is line the pan, melt the butter, mix the graham cracker, cover the bottoms, mix the cake mix, put a little in each one- not too much not too little, carefully drop in marshmallow mix-avoiding the sides of the liner, cover the marshmallow mix, bake, frost, sprinkle graham cracker crumbs. 

I'm good, thanks. 

And the end result?

Something you'd love to hear after wasting an hour of your life....they taste like s'more poptarts.

Awesome.

Never making cupcakes again. 

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In other news, this dinner was so yummy!!

I had planned on making pineapple fried rice and while I was at the store I found this sauce for the chicken. 

Can't wait to have it again, it's just what I wanted!

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Tomorrow starts a new link of with some of my favorite blog friends!

I'm looking forward to it! 

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We've been having cool fall weather and it's been wonderful!

Also excited for the fall shows to kick off- Ellen starts today! 

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Adalyn fell at a friend's house and hit the side of head/ear on a coffee table.

Through this we discovered that ears can bruise. 

Probably something we should've known and that is most likely common sense and something we really did know deep down, but initial reaction was a bit surprising. 

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I'm trying to grow my hair out again. I've made it through the dreaded flip-out phase {praise the Lord}, but now I'm in the always-in-a-pony-tail-phase-so-might-as-well-have-it-short-and-cute phase.

But at least her hair is growing fast and I can make one of us look good

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Two weekends ago we finally finished unpacking/cleaning out basement. 

It's not what I envision the end result to look like, but at least for now it's presentable and no longer embarrassing. 

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We are getting the siding done on our house and new windows put in. 

I feel like it's taking for.ever.

In the meantime, I feel "trapped" at home even though we would be home anyways and I'm unusually exhausted because I know I can't nap. It's a bit ridiculous how the mind works.

It will look so good when it's finished and I'm looking forward to putting up the fall decor!

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My first official overnight trip away from Adalyn is booked.

I'm freaking out about on the inside.

And a little on the outside.

I have 2 months to process/prepare.

She's almost 2, I realize this is also filed away in the "Ridiculous" category. 

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I'll finish this off with another Timehop memory- a year ago today Adalyn took her first steps!!

So incredibly crazy how fast time goes by!

Something I think I'll always be in disbelief of. 

join in on the random shananigans:

Misc. Monday

Apparently the only way I can blog these days is in bullet point form.

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Not gonna lie, I've been struggling with what else to write. I've been distracted multiple times and I can't think of what to say.

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Tonight at dinner Mr. B asked me what my plans are for tomorrow and I said "I need to buy some laundry detergent".
How's that for a busy day?!
Try not to be too jealous.

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Speaking of, what detergent do you use?
Here's the thing...once you go pod there's no turning back.
Am I right, or am I right?
All it takes is one time using a pod and suddenly pouring detergent into a hole seems like way too much work.
And this is what we call a first world problem.
Like, to the max.

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My laundry is finally put away just in time for more laundry to be folded and put away.
Circle of life. 

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We had our annual little family weekend away at the beach a couple weekends ago.

It was perfect. 

I'm still catching up on pictures, but I got some keepers. 

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I'm still not pregnant. Bring on month 4...

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I'm thinking about starting a fertility facebook group again if anyone is interested! I've received a few emails {sorry for not responding yet!} from other ladies who have been struggling.
Knowing you're not alone on this stupid roller coaster is so helpful! 

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We took the siding off the house this weekend.
And by "we" I mean Mr. B, our dads, my brother and a friend. 

And the new siding isn't being put on for 3 weeks so...that's attractive. 

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Everyone loves to be the classy house in the neighborhood that's wrapped in paper.
Especially one where the paper is upside down on half your house.
I think we get bonus points for that?

  My dad and brother aren't attentive to details and Mr. B and his dad are.
I'll let you guess who did the top half and who did the bottom.

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Projects like these always make you realize how awesome family and friends really are though! 

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Tonight I made a delicious and super easy dinner- courtesy of Pinterest, of course!

I used red potatoes, green beans, carrots and 3 chicken breasts. Put it all in a pan, I used half a packet of italian dressing, 1/2 stick of butter and drizzled some olive oil. Covered with foil, baked at 375 for 45 minutes. I added some feta and voila! We all loved it! Next time I'd add more veggies though, it seemed like a lot at the time, but the after it cooked it didn't seem like that many and we definitely could've eaten more. 

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I finally conquered the craft area of our basement today.
It only took me 9 months.
 Because who wants to waste their time cleaning the basement during nap time??
Not me.
But it had to be done.

It's all mismatched and not the prettiest, but at least it's clean! 

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Mr. B is getting a new car and I'm jealous. 

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I've been loving my time off from Captured. It was definitely the right decision! 

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These back to school things keep getting me all emotional.

Thank the Lord I still have time!

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I'm obsessed with Timehop. If you don't have that app., get it.
It's so bittersweet, but I love it.
Love it. 
Especially for someone who has a terrible memory and who is beyond behind on the good ol' baby books.
A year ago yesterday Adalyn had her first little piggies!

That's insane.

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What's more insane is she just turned 21 months.

3 months until the big T-W-O.
Ridiculous. 

Thursdays Thoughts

Yesterday we celebrated 4 years of marriage!! 

It feels much longer- in a good way!

We ordered take out from one of our favorite pizza places and snuggled with our favorite girl.

I love living life with these two and I wouldn't want to spend our night any differently. 

Okay, that a little bit of a lie.

But I do love living life with them!

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I'm not pregnant. Again.

Happy Anniversary

On to take 3.....

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Adalyn recently turned 20 months!!!

You better believe the party planning has started and I may or may not have already made some purchases. 

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Adalyn is officially potty trained, with the exception of night time. 

I will write a more detailed post soon, but she was ready and made it easy! 

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It's ridiculous how fast summer goes by. We only have a couple more times to enjoy the lake.

I'm thankful for seasons, I feel like they come at the perfect time. 

With the exception of winter. 

That's last wayyyy too long. 

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We love Puddle Jumpers. 

Best floaties. ever. ever. 

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I don't feel like cooking, but there's chicken in the fridge that will go bad if I don't.
Lame.

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We had fun blueberry picking this morning. 

I enjoyed it so much more than strawberry picking.

Like, tons more. 

It was a little cool out and the perfect reminder of what's to come.

But not yet. 

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I never update my phone and the other day I finally did. 

And of course, now one of my lifeline favorite apps isn't working. 

If it ain't broke....

And now, Instagram is stuck on waiting. 

I've seriously tried every.thing. to fix it. 

Next up is to restore my phone to factory settings. 

In the meantime I feel like my life is stuck on waiting. 

I feel lost. 

I feel like everyone else is probably lost, too. 

No one knows where we are, what we are eating, what Adalyn is wearing...

Not sure how they're surviving, because I'm struggling. 

More than I should be....

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I love that my parents have farm animals- feeding the goats with Mimi is something she looks forward to. 

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I'm in love with her and this picture

the end.

2WW {Round 2}.

Well that was fast.

I didn't even get another blog post in between by first 2ww- which is also slightly depressing btw. 

The good thing about TTC while having a toddler is you're so busy with: 

beach days

and strawberry picking days

and two year molar teething days

and big girl undies days

and pool days

and holidays

and days with sweet personalities

and days filled with drama

       

that there's really no time for me to have a pity party.

Oh yeah, and of course, that fact that someone can usually be found having a big enough pity party for the both of us. 

So the weeks pass by and I continue to remain hopeful.

I will continue to thank the Lord for our first miracle and the love and joy that she brings to us.

I continue to be confident that He not only knows the desires of my heart, He put them there. 

{thank you shereadstruth for that simple revelation}.

When you have a toddler there's really no drawn out 2ww.

So in the meantime, I will continue to watch the days pass by too quickly as our first baby turns into a big girl.

Always bittersweet.  

Success.

In October I started posting a few pictures I had taken for friends and before I knew it I had people I had never met asking me to take their pictures. 

It all happened so quickly.

It felt like I was now running my own photography business overnight. 

It most likely felt like that because...that's how it was!

Funny how that works, huh?

During those fall months I was enjoying what I was doing, but I was struggling with the balance of being a working mom. 

Thankfully we were in a position where I didn't need to have a job.

And, I didn't want to have a job or my own company; it all just happened. 

It was hard for me when I was just a couple sessions in and I could see Adalyn's pictures getting pushed to the side because I needed to work on my "clients". 

I took the winter months off and prayed about what to do.

I ended up taking some newborn pictures {which I loved!} for a few friends and that only increased the demand.

As spring was approaching, I knew a decision had to be made.

I was told over and over that I had a gift.

That this was a talent. 

So I was feeling compelled not to waste it if it was a truly a gift.

I prayed about it some more.

Talked a lot about it with Mr. B and those close to me.

I decided to become more official- to have a website, raise my prices, have new packages and only shoot a few days a week with hopes that I'd be able to have more of a balance for the spring/summer season.

With just two months in {now}, I became overwhelmed.

I don't know how working moms do it. 

Finding the balance of being present, cleaning, cooking, enjoying, relaxing, playdates, family, friends, wife, mom and sleep is... hard. 

The fact of the matter is you really can't give both your work and your homelife 100%.

You can't.

It was always my dream to be a mom.

I honestly never dreamt of being a photographer.

It's still weird to say that I am one.

The more I edited and posted, the more people would contact me for their sessions and I would get overwhelmed.

Some people have joked around with me saying

 that's a business,

 that's success, 

that's how it works.

But as "successful" as my short-lived photography company was, it wasn't where I wanted to put my success.

It wasn't where I wanted to give my time and attention.

I was behind on the pictures that mattered most to me. 

The ones that I take of my moments to capture and freeze because they are going too quickly. 

The moments where I try not to blink because they're gone.

So fast.

As much as I love to bless others, and I will continue to do so for family and friends, the business aspect is not where my heart is. 

It's not where I want my time and energy to go. 

In this season of my life I'm called to invest in our daughter and Lord-willing, future children.

I'm not interested in making investments.

Although the extra money was nice, it's not worth it.

I'm happy with my decision. 

I feel relieved.

I feel a weight lifted.

I feel like I'm back in the game.

I love that right now it's 12:30am and I am documenting our life and not editing someone else's.

I have truly been blessed by blessing others.

I love how many clients have become new friends and I am thankful for the support that I know I will receive from those around me. 

I know the Lord has given me this gift and will continue to use me in other ways until I am in a new season of life where I could possibly pursue photography as a career.

Until then, I will continue to capture these precious moments,

because this is where my heart is.

This is my gift.

The Bar

Lately I've been struggling.

Partially due to social media.

Partially due to the way my brain works and how I over analyze everything.

When we were trying to conceive I was bitter- pregnancies were being announced left and right.

When I finally got pregnant there was a constant fear of having a miscarriage- I was reading it everywhere.

When she was born there was a paranoia of childhood cancer- stories were always popping up.

When I fed her formula there was judgement and justification and the appearance of not being a "good mom".

And lately, I've been struggling with the bar.

Not the bar that is set to where she "should be".

 The bar that is set to where "other" kids are at, in the social media world I'm surrounded in, therefore  that is where she "should be".

Facebook is great.

Blogs are wonderful.

I am so thankful that I have milestones documented.

From trying to conceive to pregnancy to 8 months old {where I slacked off big time and I'm now disappointed that I didn't keep up!}.

Because of the simplicity and awesomeness of blogs they'e now become a virtual baby book-a place to post every.thing your child is doing for everyone to see.

But, they are often times hard for me to read.

Sometimes it's because it stirs discontentment in my life.

Sometimes it's because the grass is greener.

Sometimes it's because it's too much for me to handle and it feeds a fear that is not from the Lord.

And sometimes, like in this season of my life, it creates an unwanted, unneccessary comparison of my child to another child.

Some are talking.

Some are signing.

Some are potty trained.

Some know their alphabet.

Some know their states.

Some know their shapes.

Some know their colors.

Some know their countries.

Some can read.

Some can write.

Those things are great.

Really, they are.

And, of course, I would be proud if it was my child, too.

But what I find happening is that I become frustrated or concerned when Adalyn isn't doing x, y and z.

I get angry when she throws her flashcards instead of pointing out the animal and the letter.

I get irritated when she puts all the colored stars onto the page instead of choosing one and matching correctly.

I lose my patience when she purposely presses the wrong button on an educational ipad game because she likes the sound that it makes when it's the incorrect answer.

And what I seem to be forgetting is that Adalyn is made in the image of God.

She was perfectly and uniquely knit together in my womb by our awesome Creator.

He made her exactly who she is.

And I need to- more than accept- I need to embrace where she is at today.

Right now.

To think that at least she is almost potty-trained and can say and whine and scream and repeat 1,000 times a day Mama.

To think at least she's got that going for her....

It's wrong and it's ridiculous.

She is loved.

She is loving.

She brings us so much joy.

She is sweet.

She is caring.

She is silly.

She is observant.

She has the craziest bedhead.

She loves to give hugs and kisses.

She loves to praise Jesus.
She has an expressive face.

She loves to read books.

She loves to dance.

She loves to laugh.

She loves animals.

She loves to play outside.

She loves to get the mail.

She loves to eat.

She loves her giraffe, blankie and paci.

She loves to say "hi".

She loves to help me sweep.

She loves her car and her wagon.

She loves to swing.

She loves Curious George.

She is obsessed with babies.

The list could go on and on about how great she is and how much I love her.

It's not fair to her for me to be comparing her to "the bar."

Before Adalyn's 18 month check up, I was telling Mr. B how they were going to see how smart she is- what body parts she knows, how many words can she say etc. We estimated how many words we thought she was able to say and that night I went to bed worried.

What if it wasn't enough?

I feel like she is a little delayed.

Her speech isn't very clear, but I can usually decipher what she's trying to say.

So I made a list and I decided it would be more accurate to say she can say/uses 25-30+ words a day.

I get to her appointment and guess what?

The doctor asks me if she is pointing to things.

She asks if is able to demonstrates things that she wants.

If she can follow simple directions.

She never asked about the number of words.

She didn't care about states or countries.

Alphabet or numbers.

Colors or shapes.

And you know what else?

The paper the Dr. gives at the end of the appointment, under the "What I Can Do Now" section, said: speak 8-10 words.

8-10.

The bar- the social media childhood development bar- is too high.

Adalyn's appointment was perfect.

And it wasn't because she knew or didn't know.

It was because she was healthy, happy and growing.

The things that other kids can do are awesome.

I believe some kids thrive more in certain areas than others.

It's just how God wired them.

But I forget that some days.

It's important for me to remember that she is only 18 months.

The bar tends to be getting set higher and higher and it's so easy to push aside that fact that although she's not really a baby anymore...she is just a baby.

She's not even 2.

I need to let her be.

She's my sweet girl, a child of God, who will learn all these other things in time.

Right now- what she really needs to know- is that she's loved.

And she does.

                                                               And that's what matters most.