The Bigger Picture

The other day I was thinking about how focused we have been on all the negatives tests and the frustrations of not being able to have a baby in the time that we had originally wanted.

I was sitting on the floor watching the babies that I watch play together and it hit me.

It took a while, but it finally hit me.

I took a step and looked around and realized that I have fulfilled one of my dreams, 

that we have fulfilled some of our dreams.

And now I am watching a Baby Story and trying to keep these positives thoughts in my head...but anyways ever since I was a little girl I was obsessed with babies. Throughout Junior High and High School I knew that one day I wanted to have an in-home daycare and in the meantime I babysat all.the.time. I graduated High school and completed two years of college, a bunch of courses in 108058 degrees because I couldn't make up my mind and I decided that the debt I was putting myself in wasn't worth it. {$25,000 and no type of degree later I wish I would've came to the conclusion a little earlier..but not really because in the end I paid that much for some great friends and memories!} I knew what I wanted and it didn't come with a Psychology degree, an Elementary Education degree or a Speech Therapy degree. 

I wanted to be a nanny and eventually have my own little in-home daycare. 

Today I watch 2 babies in my house and it is the best job I have ever had. 

Recently, I added another baby that will be joining us on occasion too. 

I did it.

I have an in-home daycare.

I knew what I wanted.

I worked hard to get here.

I made it.

I love it.

I'm proud.

Mr. B and I started dating in High School.

He was going to be a Junior.

I was going to be a Senior.

I was his first girlfriend.

He was my first boyfriend.

We were in love and knew then that we were one day going to get married. 

After Mr. B graduated High School he knew he wanted to graduate college in 3 years.

The sooner he graduated, the sooner we could get married. 

He was right on track to finish on time, he worked and took classes through out the summers.

We changed the plans a bit and decided to get married his Senior year of College instead of waiting until graduation.

After dating for 4 years and finding places to hang out around campus, we were ready.

We knew it would take some sacrifices and we would need to convince our parents, but we knew it was what we wanted.

We prayed about it and decided that I would work and be the provider and he would finish his last year. 

We knew what we wanted.

We knew it wouldn't be easy.

We worked hard.

{{I learned that I am not a fan of being the only provider}}

{{Neither is he}}

We made it.

We were happy.

It was the right decision.

We accomplished another dream.

At the time we were living in Florida, but knew we wanted to move back to our home state after he graduated.

I was determined to live close to my family.

He was determined to find a job in the area so that we could live in NH in order to make me happy.

{Yes, he's a smart man}

While visiting for Easter he set up a few interviews in NH/MA. 

He went to his first interview and just like that it went from the recruiter, to the company managers to an interview with the President to an offer letter and a job. 

We were ecstatic.

The next day we found the perfect place to live, in our price range and the area we wanted to live.

We were only visiting NH for four days! 

The Lord was sooo good to us and everyone could see His hand and the divine appointments.

Today Mr. B is working in Boston and loves the company and his position.

He knew what he wanted, 

he worked really hard, 

and he is living one of his dreams.

Yesterday he found out that he was promoted to a new position AND given a significant raise.

He hasn't even been with this company for a year yet!

This was not expected and a complete blessing!

He hates that I tell people all this, but ya'll {I don't say that in real life, but wish that I did}...

I am proud of that man

and sometimes I think people should know all that he has accomplished. 

He's so humble about it, but I take joy in sharing about him and showing how 

a. things happen when you believe, put your mind to it and work hard

b. how the Lord has truly blessed us and how often we take it for granted

I think the hardest part about trying to conceive is that it is something we have no control over.

We can time everything right, hang upside down for 30 minutes, spend the money on silly tests but in the end it's the Lord that performs the miracle of making that life and it's our only option is to put complete trust in Jesus. 

To know that God has a plan bigger than our own. 

Proverbs 16 says we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. 

It's important to look at the bigger picture and look at the steps the Lord has taken us on.

And also, to be thankful that he allowed certain steps to be apart of the plan that we had in mind.

Because they aren't always and I think that is a lot of times overlooked and taken for granted. 

So I encourage you to look at the bigger picture in your own life too.

To see the steps that the Lord has brought you on, both that were in the plan you had hoped for and not. 

It's so easy to focus on one thing that is going "wrong"

 instead of the millions of things that have gone right.

She has her snowpants on!!

I think it's about time for a topic change dontcha think??

Well just like all the other states, except for the one that I lived in last year that I sometimes miss, we were hit with snow.

A lot of snow.

We knew we were getting a big storm so on Tuesday night we decided to spend that night at my parents' house. 

I knew Roxie was going to have a blast playing in the snow with the kids.

I knew Mr. B would have to be working out of the house regardless of the weather.

I knew I would have a lonely boring day if we stayed at our house.

So off to to the farm we went.

I even brought my snow gear which just in case.

You guys, this is a big deal.

Ms. J don't play in the snow no mo'.

My siblings are all 10+ years younger than me {with the exception of one who is in college} and they could not believe I brought snow stuff. Actually, I don't even think they knew I owned snow stuff. You would've thought I brought over some wonderful extinct animal or something.

It got even better the next day when I told them I was going outside to play in the snow with Roxie.

You are??

Really??

Are you really going??

I went upstairs to change and bundle up and as I am coming around the corner Julia shouts, 

" She has her snow pants on!!"

And it was a matter of seconds before the rest of the kids put their snow gear on.

Because they are so much younger than me, they apparently have no recollection of me ever playing in the snow with them.

Please take into consideration that snow pants and coats add some weight in pictures :)

So off we went. 

Snow to our knees. 

Lots of laughing.

Pushing.

And Throwing.

And freezing.

And runny noses.

And I remember why I don't play in the snow anymore.

We didn't head back home until a little after the snow stopped around 5ish. 

We Mr. B was dreading having to shovel our driveway in the dark, but we came home and we pleased to see that our landlord had already done it for us.

Ummm awesome.

Of course, Mr. B had to take my car to work today because his was a little buried still.

We got about 2 feet of snow in just one night.

I thought this sign in our front yard was kind of comical

He only had to shovel the back steps and path for Roxie.

She enjoyed the last minute play time in the snow.

She's been sleeping most of today.

The snow and I have a love-hate relationship.

Mystery Lurkers

I have recently discovered that I have invisible lurkers. 

Wait, are all lurkers invisible? Is it a given?

** I have a confession: am actually an ex-lurker..stalker, if you will. I started this blog about a year ago and before that it was pretty much my job to stalk and never comment. ever.**

 Well, life is funny and I have now been given my own set of lurkers. I don't know how many, but I know it's enough. {{Shout out to my lurkers- hi!} 

 I have enough lurkers that the word has been spread as to what type of lube we use and what happened to said lube to my father in law.

 Mr. B got a phone call on Saturday afternoon from his dad laughing and telling him had about 4 people come up to him at their Christmas party telling him about the whole Pre-seed shenanigans. 

Information he doesn't want to know. And doesn't need to know. ever.

He put the phone on speaker and the laughing and defending and warnings took over.

My blog isn't necessarily intended for men. 

Or for father in laws. 

Of course, Mr. B had no idea I had posted such things.

Of course, I had no idea his dad's co-workers or friends he goes to church with reads such things!

Of course, we never intended for his dad to discover such things.

Of course, Mr. B was a bit embarrassed and thought I shouldn't be writing about such things.

And of course, I say- it's my blog.

It's a free country.

It's a funny story.

Our dog ate our expensive lube.

So what.

Who cares.

It's not always easy to think of things to blog about so when something like this happens I consider it a God-send.

Similar to the story of his dad calling.

Somethings are just worth documenting.

It's our life- love it or leave :)

Ok fine, I will admit I was a tad embarrassed too. 


I may be dreading their visit this weekend just a little bit- it's a little too fresh in the memory to see each other just yet.

If you're a secret follower please be bold and officially follow and/or comment so I get a better feel for my audience and maybe I can tone it down sometimes. It's no guarantee. 

Or how about we just don't tell Smelly Senior and we can keep this between you and me. Ka peash? {I have no idea how to spell that and don't feel like googling it, but its Uncle Jesse's saying from Full House.}

She's Too Young.

Roxie has reached a new milestone.

She's been humped.

Multiple times.

And she likes it.

We pull her away from the dog and she runs back to him.

What kind of girl are we raising??

Apparently she has caught on {we call her the sex detective}, with the many sniffs and stares and extreme awkwardness that she creates, she now thinks she is ready.

We walked into the living room the other night and saw this: 

We have some serious disciplining to do.

She is too young- just 9 months old.

We won't even tell her that there will be no "seriously fun baby-making" for her because we removed her baby-making parts.
{Is this revenge??}

Or maybe she forgot about that terrible day..

{{terrible day}}

And most importantly she needs to realize that this stuff is expensive.

This is no cheap treat.

So we went out and bought another tube putting us at a total of $40 spent on this magical product.

I hope it works. 

I have a feeling she doesn't care.

Pink, White & Boo

Well, I decided to go with my heart and do it.

I created a secret group on facebook.

I know that sounds cheesy, but that's what it is called. Secret is when no one other than the members can see/find the group, write to other and see what others in the group have written.

I was holding out, hoping that I would have some Christmas news....and I did. 

Another negative. 

Another month gone.

A few days later I saw online that two more people I know are pregnant.

I lost it. 

I couldn't help it. 

The tears.

The questions again.

I love my husband.

I love my family. 

But sometimes I just need to vent to someone who is going through the same thing.

Who understand this roller coaster.

Now.

So I decided I need to start this now.

The funny thing is this picture was taken in Fl as a good news picture that I send to my mom!
So naive...if only I knew, ha!

We will see where the Lord takes it.

Whether there are 2 girls or 20- it really doesn't matter.

Just talking to the few girls that I have has been such a relief.

Whether we have been trying for 1 month or 21 months it hurts and feels like forever, regardless.

So I created this place as a way to vent, cry, laugh, get advice, give advice, encourage, pray and support.

Again, this is totally private so whether everyone knows you are trying because you have a big mouth like me or only your husband knows, if you join this group no one will be able to see and you will be able to be encouraged and lifted. 

Trust me, I know it's hard.

I know it feels like everyone is pregnant, but you.

And I know how awesome it feels to talk with those who are also struggling. 

So since it is a "secret" group, you can't just search it on facebook to find and join. {I wish it could be like that, but in order to keep it as private as possible it needs to be like this.} So if you would like to be a member and honestly, I think the more the merrier {and the more encouragement and prayers!} leave a way for me to contact you in the comments or send me an email at thesmellylife@gmail.com  and I can send you an invite and we can set it up! 

Also if you guys feel led to mention it in your post or know someone you think would benefit please send them this way :)

**This is open to those you have struggled with fertility too- I am sure we could use your encouraging words, stories and tips as well!**

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.."

We are praying.

I'm baaaaaack.

What better way to start the New Year and the return after almost two weeks of not recording the extremely exciting happenings of our Smelly life than a Misc. Monday post. Requires very little thought and I appreciate that. 

Here is your warning that this will most likely be a long list since I have some catching up to do. Warning.

{one} I can't even believe I didn't even post about our Christmas decor/tree and it is already taken down. Does time fly or what?? Looks like I missed that mark. Maybe next year...

{two} We had a wonderful Christmas. I am thankful for holidays like this to remind myself of how blessed I am. I know it shouldn't take a holiday {and gifts..} to do that, but hey I am human, give me a break- I'm just being honest. 

{Wrapped these with supplies from the dollar store- I was pretty impressed with how they turned out.}

{three} We received some awesome gifts this year:

             With Christmas money fro my parents and some of our Christmas bonuses we bought a new TV. We had a 32" before and upgraded to a 46" and we are totally loving it. It's all about priorities people...  And of course if you give a mouse a cookie he needs HD with his new TV because it's too big and looks grainy with standard cable. 

Our early gift was the Canon Rebel XSi which I more than love. On Christmas Day we received a new lens which at this point I am not loving, but I know when I get the hang of it it will be wonderful. I am not a huge fan of the whole switching of the lenses ordeal when I need to zoom. But I guess I better get use to that now.

           I also got the new iPad. So I don't technically own it, but I am excited about it and I can't wait until they come out with it in the next couple months. So my excitement is pretty much bottled up for this gift until then. So for now I will stare at and occasionally use Mr. B's while he is at work. 

So yes, we were spoiled and are very thankful for Mr. B's parents. Living in different states has it's advantages every once in a while ;) 

{four} It was my friend's bachelorette party on Wednesday. We learned some line dances for her wedding and went to dinner at PF Changs. I have now been craving their lettuce wraps every night since then.  Anyone ever have them?? Don't be fooled by the name like I was- I really don't think they are that healthy. 

{five} Speaking of healthy...it's the new year which means time to exercise for a week! Another moment of honesty: I was thankful that New Years fell on a Saturday giving me two extra days to be lazy and eat what I want before the official New Year week began. I may or may not have finished last night with a kids cheeseburger- ketchup only with a root beer from Burger King. I had to. Really.

{six} My landlord has two birds. I don't what kind they are, but what I do know is they are SO annoying!! It seriously sounds like we live in a pet store. 

{seven} Roxie has been the sweetest dog since we have been on vacation this past week. She has been back to her good ol' cuddly self. I can tell she is soaking it all in until the babies are back tomorrow and she goes back to her crate :( I feel really bad. I have been trying to push getting another dog to keep her company and give her someone to play with and get her energy out, but it's not going over too well with Mr. B. No worries, I am a stubborn and persistent one and I will try my best to keep pushing it. 

{eight} Do any of you have 2 dogs? Do you think in a way it makes it easier? Because that's what I am believing...so please say yes.

{nine} I was planning on posting this before working out because I thought if I didn't do it now I wouldn't do it. I forgot to take into consideration that I if I got comfy on the couch I wouldn't want to get up and work out. My b. 

{ten} I am really excited for 2011 and what this year holds! A couple months ago I had a list of 3 things I wanted to accomplish before 2010 was over:

   1. Be consistent and on time with tithe

   2. Have money in savings

   3. Expect a Smelly Baby.

  Well we accomplished 2/3 of 3 which isn't bad. It's just a bummer that we didn't accomplish the one that I really wanted.
Not to say we didn't try though!
 Sorry...TMI.
So that is for sure number one on the list for 2011 and I am feeling hopeful and confident that it will happen. At this point the odds are on our side :)
 I also want to continue tithing and saving, eat healthier and exercise and get back to couponing! 

{eleven} Sorry this post was all over the place. I need to get back in the groove.

Have a wonderful day!

Santa's Missing Reindeer

{aka Roxie's first snow experience}

Lucky for her the winter has just begun...

and we will be getting lots more of that white stuff to eat.

Have a wonderful Christmas weekend!!