Hair we go again...

There are two distinct moments in my life, thus far, that I wish I would have listened to my parents' advice. The first thing was when they suggested I get a 4 door car and I chose a 2 door car in high school (not the most convenient post-high school when I became a nanny. I was a sweaty, frustrated mess putting carseats and young children in the backseat everyday). The second advice was don't dye your hair. It is expensive. you'll never go back to your normal hair. you have beautiful hair. don't do it until you have grays and need to.

Well...I did it. I regret it. Yes, I will say type it for the world to see

MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT.

When I was a little girl I had shiny, thick, straight, dirty blonde hair. What I would give to have that hair now...

Somewhere down the road, my hair turned from that dirty

blonde to brown. As you see in

the picture below sporting the 6 inch brown roots. Note: my mom was a huge fan of having me sleep in curlers to achieve those vivacious curls in the AM.

Fast forward a few years. The haircut that generated my fear of getting my hair trimmed for the next 10 years of my life. The hairdresser asked if I wanted a "bob". I said yes.

I cried on the way home. And every other time from then on that I got my hair cut.

No, my main concern was not my one giant toothed smile.

At this point I was unaware that I would have one giant tooth for approximately two more years.

Permission to have pity.

I will spare you from my extremely awkward years. And bring you to 2006-2008.

I had long, thick, beautiful brown hair. The hair that girls envy.

It was beautiful slightly curled.

Apparently we didn't own many dress clothes.

It was beautiful curled.

It was beautiful straightened.

But there were days, like this one, where it was blah. Horse mane. Boring.

One day something came over me. I was tired of long hair that did nothing for me. I wanted some body, something with style. I made a decision (something I rarely do), I was going to chop off my hair and give it to Locks of Love. Let me remind you, it wasn't an exaggeration when I mentioned tears were shed when I got my hair trimmed. So this was a really big deal. If I could go back in time, I would tell this crazy looking, are you taking a poo or scared face girl-- Trust your face, whatever it is trying to express!

Don't do it!!

But I didn't go back and tell her....

( It appears as if I cut this myself, not true, I brought it back from the salon to mail to Locks of Love)

It was chopped. 13 inches.

I felt like a boy. I was a bit in shock. But I liked it. It made my hair look darker. It was definitely a change. I was told it made me look older (a comment I will take any day!).

A few months later (the chopped pony tail might have still been in an envelope on my desk), Mr. B proposed. I wanted long hair for the wedding. Perfect timing.

I had 16 months to grow it out. This is the beginning of month 8.

This is month end of month 8. Long Hair Rehab= Failure.

In my defense, let me share a specific situation that took place resulting in this failure. I was on the fast track to the 18 month hair growth process. I hated (still hate) the shoulder length hair, but I just needed to push through to have beautiful curls for the wedding. One day my mom and I were at the nail salon getting out nails done. Duh. My mom's nails were finished before mine and they told her ::put on your Filipino accent:: "You leave daughter here. Go errands. We watch her." Aw what an offer. You're willing to watch a TWENTY ONE year old while her mommy goes shopping?? As if that wasn't enough, while filing my nails, the technician asks me my age. I then tell him I am 21. He then informs me ::back to Filipino accent:: nooooo you 13. Um, nope. But thank you. Of course, if they are offering to babysit me, it was assumed they think I am incompetent to take care of myself, but I didn't need to know the precise age. Do you want to stay with me in the bathroom and wipe my butt too?? Note to people everywhere: Yes, I know I look young. Yes, I know one day that will be a compliment. I am not at the age yet, please keep comments to yourself. So anyways, as I grumble and possibly give the evil eye I decide that is it. I am getting a make over for my birthday. I need to look older.

I made the decision that short hair for the wedding can be just as beautiful. I researched many ways it could be styled. And just like that... I lost the wedding locks and I lost my virgin hair, all in one night, at the expense of looking older. If I could go back in time I would say: Don't do it!! You're so close to long hair!! Don't do it!! You will never be able to have your natural hair color again!!

But I can't. So hello short, stacked in the back look. Received tons of compliments. Everywhere. Family, friends and strangers. Even a homeless guy on the street in Boston liked my hair! Each time I went to the salon I somehow managed to get blonder and blonder. What started as a few barely noticeable highlights turned into a noticeable highlights...

Which turned into lots of highlights, or back to my natural color, as seen in the first picture, however you choose to look at it....

This color was wonderful in my pre-marriage life. Reality hit me in the face as the newlywed life left little to no funds to keep up with this natural blonde hair of mine. I went 5 months without touch ups. The whole dark brown strip down the middle of my head was not exactly the look I was going for. As soon as I received some birthday money I went right to the salon. Again, if I could go back I would say DON'T DO IT!!! But that doesn't matter....I decided I want to go dark. I wanted a reddish, dark brown/black. Something that wouldn't show my roots, that wouldn't be hard to keep up with. I'm now wondering if I schedule these appointments when I am PMSing and have no control of my actions...

22nd birthday hair makeover. Drastic change.

This cut and color was good for about a week. It quickly grew out into u.g.l.y and the color faded to an orangey red brown nasty color. To top it off, I was getting close to the shoulder length I can't stand. Recently, I have decided to try and grow my hair out and it is SO hard. I really want it long , but it is just an annoying process that I hate. I don't know if I will make it. I loved it long, but reality is it only looked good when I actually did something with it, which was not very often. Plus, I think I have a good year or two until I get it to that length again. Therefore resulting in about a year of the length I despise. On the other hand, I like how short hair is so easy, sassy and takes little work to look good. Currently it is no longer stacked, it has no style and no sass. I am having a difficult time coping. Not sure if it's normal, but hair plays a big part in my self-esteem. This whole hair situation has had quite the toll on me- What was I thinking?? Why didn't I listen??

This is a horrible picture taken in the car before my hair appointment (if that's what that was called) this weekend. How in the world did I go from the above picture and 3 months later look like this??

So for Valentine's Day Mr. B sent me to the salon to get some highlights and try and build up my self-esteem...with hopes that I would stop complaining. A mutual gift. I was going to cut it short again, but decided to try one last time to grow it out (maybe if it was lighter and this length I would like it??) I still couldn't go blonde because we don't have the money to keep going back (hopefully this summer!). Still don't love the cut/length, but I do like the color better and it is definitely better than what it was before.

I know that piece of bang is SO annoying.

It was quickly fixed. No worries.

I can finally put it in a pony tail though. But is it worth it??

Not sure how long "Take 2" of the growing process will last. All I know is I should've listened to mom and I would never be in this situation to begin with.

I can never go back.

I lost my lengthy locks with a chopped off pony tail, intended for a good cause, too lazy and cheap to mail it out it and ended up in the trash

(I thought they might not want hair that has been dead for 4 months).

I will forever face the consequences of my hair losing her virginity to the pressure of the nail technician.

Wishful Wednesday

I wish it was May.

I wish we lived close to family.

I wish we would find out about a job for Mr. B. now.

I wish we could get our little boxer pup. now.

I wish we had a baby. now.

I wish I never had to leave my most favorite nanny job. ever.

I wish the weather would warm up.

I wish we had more money so I didn't have to work.

I wish we could eat out whenever I wanted or didn't feel like cooking.

I wish my hair would grow faster.

I wish I never cut it.

I wish I could cut it short again.

I wish I wasn't SO indecisive.

I wish we had cable and a DVR.

I wish I could be on What Not To Wear.

I wish Ellen was on at 9 in the morning instead of at 4.

I wish I got out of work in time to watch Oprah.

I wish, on the rare occasions that I am home by 4, I wouldn't have to choose between Ellen or Oprah.

I wish I could have the 30 Day Shred body without the 30 day exercise part.

I wish...I wish...I wish...I can wish all I want, but where does that get me besides not being thankful for what I do have? If anything, it makes me focus what I don't have which puts quite the damper on my mood. Not sure that I had a good mood to begin with, hence this I wish life was how I wanted it and then I would be happy post, but we can pretend I was. So enough with the wishing and on with the the waiting. I will try my best to be content where God has called Mr. B and I to be right now. Knowing He has a plan and purpose and works everything in His perfect timing. Romans 8:25 is a verse I came across the other day that is so imperative during this time of planning our next few steps and future plans, "But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently."

I am 1,000% sure my mom will comment and say, "You know what my dad always said, 'If you wish in one hand and spit in the other, all you'll end up with is a hand full of spit'". So I will beat her to it and put it out there. I do realize this is true statement, and I also realize wishing is still fun to do. But most importantly, I realize who holds my wishes and what I need to be doing with those wishes...

Delight yourself also in the Lord,

and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ...

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him ..."

(Psalm 37:4-5, 7)

I guess I like to wish because it gives me something to look forward to, a goal, something to attain. That is where my problem is. My wishes have replaced Jesus. They have replaced the thought of what does God have in store for me, for us, right now and in the future. They have replaced the act of fully running the race for His kingdom because I am distracted by running the race to eventually be living a "happier" life filled with babies, a house, a puppy, friends, our home church, and family just a short drive a way.

Key word in both scriptures: patiently. I have a one track mind. Put something in my head and it is all I think about. I am s.l.o.w.l.y (like super slowly) starting attain this attribute. It's hard. But's it's also hard impossible to get this chapter in our lives back--these moments of just Mr. B and I, alone, together in Florida, extremely limited funds, seeking after God, living in the unknown and pressing on to what the future holds. So although it's nice to make a list of a million wishes. It's important to be patient. To wait in confidence. To commit our ways to the Lord. To take delight in where he has us. NOW.

I thought I would like this Wednesday theme and then it took a totally different turn as it made me sound like a complaining brat and the realization that I really need to just live in the moment, stop dreaming about how our life is going to be better, and stop believing that the grass is always greener. I heard a saying once that the grass is always greener where it's watered. So from now on I will water our grass and make it the greenest. With only 2 and half months left (Thank you Jesus!!! I didn't know this time would ever come!! Oops, ok that was my last time....maybe second to last. Actually, I think it's ok to be excited for a countdown, right?) in FL, I am going to soak in this time with my husband, and look forward to our future rather than dwell on it.

I have been dealing with this issue from when first got married. I remember driving home one day listening to the words to Trace Atkins song, You're Gonna Miss This and it hit me. Now, I have heard it a million times before (it's even my ringtone!), but there is one verse in particular that Trace wrote about me (without my permission, but I forgive):

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride

In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by

He tells her It's a nice place

She says It'll do for now

Starts talking about babies and buying a house

Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These Are Some Good Times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

And since this post ended up being so serious, here's a picture to lighten the mood a little. I can't mention him in a post without adding this picture. He may know how to right good songs, but he might not know his pant size....or maybe he does and he likes to show off his goods. Or maybe I am a perv? I know Mr. B and the guys in my family think so, but c'mon now, how can you not notice??

Bahahah :) You're welcome.

Thanks for putting up with this roller coaster of a post. Now that I officially have 35 followers (woot woot! Blogging self-esteem raised a few notches) and other invisible stalkers, I am held accountable to my words and actions more than ever. Not gonna lie, I was hesitant to post it. But I know it will be good for me!

Happy Wednesday! We have made it half way through the week!!

Tuesday's Ten

Ideas to write about are limited so I copied this idea from a favorite blogger of mine, Dave and Brit Plus One.

Tuesday's Ten: Things That Annoy Me

(this could easily be twenty, but I'll spare you)

In no particular order....

1. Saliva mouth noises

2. Finger/toenail picking noises

3. Scratching noises

4. Heavy breathing. If it sounds like you're snoring and you're actually awake-you are breathing too loud.

5. Being touched by feet

6. When Mr. B moves and takes the blankets with him

7. When Mr. B scratches and/or adjusts himself...which is pretty much always. My apologies for the visuals, but this list would not be complete with out this.

8. This super painful canker sore on the inside of my bottom lip. Something happened to my retainer and it cut me. I'm not feeling confident about the healing process because it's in a horrible spot and gets hit no matter what I do. And yes, I am that cool and still sleep in my retainers.

9. Whistling

10. Loud sneezes

Edit: Tuesday's Twelve..

11. When I paid $2 whole dollars (remember that is $200 in newlywed money) for these healthy items from McDs from lazy teenage employees who couldn't go the extra effort to fill them to the top:

Chocolate & Salt- may be another reason why I'm not confident in my canker sore healing

No lie, there wasn't even ONE fry hanging around by it lonesome self at the bottom of the bag

12. This Olympians voice- CLEAR. YOUR. THROAT. I had to mute it, I could not take it any longer. I took this with my phone so I apologize for the quality/sound, but you get the idea..

I will also add Gia's whiny, scratchy, trying not to cry, kicked off The Bachelor voice to that list of wow, you are so annoying. MUTE.

So....who wants to hang out with me??

MIGHTY Monday

I might have fallen asleep at 9:15 on Thursday night.

I might wish I could do that every night. Even on the weekends.

We might have done that on Friday night.

We might be in our 20s, but 70s at heart.

I might have been scared to get my hair done at the Hair Cuttery.

I might be a salon snob, but realize this is currently all we can afford and assure myself it can't be that bad.

I might have been freaking out on the inside when my name was called and it was an old woman named Hilda...who hardly speaks English. Was she going to understand my novel about what my hair used to be, why I hate it now, what I want it to look like and that I was giving her total control to work her magic??

I wasn't sure if she understood my condensed version, but Hilda might have decided to highlight my hair even though her shift was up in 30 minutes.

She might not have informed me of this.

We might have sat by the sink approximately 20 minutes because she loves to be at work and wanted to stay... but it was no longer her shift and Hilda no longer had a station.

My haircut might have been rushed as she took someone else's station while they were on break.

I'm glad Hilda loves her job so much, but I might save my money to go to an expensive salon next time.

I might have only gotten him a card. We celebrated his birthday last weekend...how could I give two weekends in a row??

I might believe that Valentine's is a holiday mainly for females. But of course I was very appreciative and loving to my hubby all day.

I might have felt a little guilty and decided I would make up for it by making him breakfast.

I might have thought about going grocery shopping if I knew I would've felt this way.

There might have only been one egg in the fridge.

I might have burnt his "birds nest" a little lot.

That might have been the last and only egg. There might have been no do-over.

His special breakfast might have been hostess powdered donuts instead.

We might have had a great Valentine's day and made up for that breakfast by ordering discounted $12 heart attacks at Smokey Bones. At least we will suffer together.

I might have asked where the Daytona 500 takes place...I live in FL.

Mr. B might have made fun of me. a lot.

In fairness, Mr. B might have just told me (in total seriousness) that getting gashed in the neck by a skate is the only reason he wouldn't do speed skating in the Olympics.

Mr. B might not ice skate. ever.

I might have laughed. a lot.

L.O.V.E

First off, not only did my dream come true, I received more than I could have ever dreamed of...I have 29 followers! I got 9 followers on Friday and 3 stragglers over the weekend- thank you Friday Follow and those that chose to follow me. Whether it was out of pity, or not, is of no meaning. I will remain naive in denial and believe it was out of love for me and my blog...we have become one.

We have had a great, relaxing, love-filled weekend. I don't even think we argued once. I guess all the more reason to make everyday Valentine's, right? That would be pretty amazing. Mr. B's parents were supposed to be visiting this weekend, but there flights were cancelled due to all the snow storms. Huge bummer. No free dinners. No expensive restaurants. No steak. No Busch Gardens. No deep cleaning the apartment. Yes to cooking this weekend. And of course, most importantly, no quality time with his parents. We haven't seen them since Thanksgiving and we were looking forward to having them here and for them to see our first place. The good thing is they have rescheduled their visit and will be here in March! Hopefully by then the weather will have warmed up! Yes, we are unofficially officially Floridians and 65 degrees is not warm.

Yesterday Mr. B sent me to the salon to fix my hair!! When you are a poor newlywed couple a trip to the salon becomes a gift and is no longer a mandatory occurrence. I think this was both a gift to himself and to me. I may have gotten the impression he was tired of hearing me complain 1,897,765 times a day about how much I hate my hair and how ugly and pale I look. Every woman knows a haircut and color can make all the difference in the world...clearly both good and bad. So praise the Lord the dark hair is gone! I had some highlights put in. It's not as light I would like it to be, but again newlywed + no money = no appointments to fix dark roots. So the blondes are on hold for the meantime.

Later that afternoon we saw Valentine's Day. We had some good laughs, but morally it was pretty depressing. George Lopez's relationship was basically the only honorable one. A key theme I did like was the importance of being married to your best friend. I couldn't agree more and I can't picture spending my days any other way. I am so thankful to wake up with my best friend by my side every day, knowing we are going through this journey together. Anyways we gave the movie a C.

Today we had church, went to Smokey Bones and then grocery shopping. I had a coupon for SB $10 off $20 so it only costs $12. Score. We split an extremely healthy meal consisting of Chili Nachos and Fire Stix (Cheese fries, with bacon, chipotle mayo, BBQ sauce and ranch dressing) aka clogged arteries for $12...not bad at all. Need I remind you, you are reading Ms. Bargain's blog.

Also, apparently Valentine's is the perfect day to go food shopping. The stores were dead. Walmart. Weekend. NO LINE. Could this day get any better?

Oh yeah, maybe if Mr. B smiled while taking a few hundred pictures...

Happy Valentine's Day!

<3 Smelly Love

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them altogether in unity.

Colossians 3:14