Pink, White & Boo

Well, I decided to go with my heart and do it.

I created a secret group on facebook.

I know that sounds cheesy, but that's what it is called. Secret is when no one other than the members can see/find the group, write to other and see what others in the group have written.

I was holding out, hoping that I would have some Christmas news....and I did. 

Another negative. 

Another month gone.

A few days later I saw online that two more people I know are pregnant.

I lost it. 

I couldn't help it. 

The tears.

The questions again.

I love my husband.

I love my family. 

But sometimes I just need to vent to someone who is going through the same thing.

Who understand this roller coaster.

Now.

So I decided I need to start this now.

The funny thing is this picture was taken in Fl as a good news picture that I send to my mom!
So naive...if only I knew, ha!

We will see where the Lord takes it.

Whether there are 2 girls or 20- it really doesn't matter.

Just talking to the few girls that I have has been such a relief.

Whether we have been trying for 1 month or 21 months it hurts and feels like forever, regardless.

So I created this place as a way to vent, cry, laugh, get advice, give advice, encourage, pray and support.

Again, this is totally private so whether everyone knows you are trying because you have a big mouth like me or only your husband knows, if you join this group no one will be able to see and you will be able to be encouraged and lifted. 

Trust me, I know it's hard.

I know it feels like everyone is pregnant, but you.

And I know how awesome it feels to talk with those who are also struggling. 

So since it is a "secret" group, you can't just search it on facebook to find and join. {I wish it could be like that, but in order to keep it as private as possible it needs to be like this.} So if you would like to be a member and honestly, I think the more the merrier {and the more encouragement and prayers!} leave a way for me to contact you in the comments or send me an email at thesmellylife@gmail.com  and I can send you an invite and we can set it up! 

Also if you guys feel led to mention it in your post or know someone you think would benefit please send them this way :)

**This is open to those you have struggled with fertility too- I am sure we could use your encouraging words, stories and tips as well!**

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.."

We are praying.

I'm baaaaaack.

What better way to start the New Year and the return after almost two weeks of not recording the extremely exciting happenings of our Smelly life than a Misc. Monday post. Requires very little thought and I appreciate that. 

Here is your warning that this will most likely be a long list since I have some catching up to do. Warning.

{one} I can't even believe I didn't even post about our Christmas decor/tree and it is already taken down. Does time fly or what?? Looks like I missed that mark. Maybe next year...

{two} We had a wonderful Christmas. I am thankful for holidays like this to remind myself of how blessed I am. I know it shouldn't take a holiday {and gifts..} to do that, but hey I am human, give me a break- I'm just being honest. 

{Wrapped these with supplies from the dollar store- I was pretty impressed with how they turned out.}

{three} We received some awesome gifts this year:

             With Christmas money fro my parents and some of our Christmas bonuses we bought a new TV. We had a 32" before and upgraded to a 46" and we are totally loving it. It's all about priorities people...  And of course if you give a mouse a cookie he needs HD with his new TV because it's too big and looks grainy with standard cable. 

Our early gift was the Canon Rebel XSi which I more than love. On Christmas Day we received a new lens which at this point I am not loving, but I know when I get the hang of it it will be wonderful. I am not a huge fan of the whole switching of the lenses ordeal when I need to zoom. But I guess I better get use to that now.

           I also got the new iPad. So I don't technically own it, but I am excited about it and I can't wait until they come out with it in the next couple months. So my excitement is pretty much bottled up for this gift until then. So for now I will stare at and occasionally use Mr. B's while he is at work. 

So yes, we were spoiled and are very thankful for Mr. B's parents. Living in different states has it's advantages every once in a while ;) 

{four} It was my friend's bachelorette party on Wednesday. We learned some line dances for her wedding and went to dinner at PF Changs. I have now been craving their lettuce wraps every night since then.  Anyone ever have them?? Don't be fooled by the name like I was- I really don't think they are that healthy. 

{five} Speaking of healthy...it's the new year which means time to exercise for a week! Another moment of honesty: I was thankful that New Years fell on a Saturday giving me two extra days to be lazy and eat what I want before the official New Year week began. I may or may not have finished last night with a kids cheeseburger- ketchup only with a root beer from Burger King. I had to. Really.

{six} My landlord has two birds. I don't what kind they are, but what I do know is they are SO annoying!! It seriously sounds like we live in a pet store. 

{seven} Roxie has been the sweetest dog since we have been on vacation this past week. She has been back to her good ol' cuddly self. I can tell she is soaking it all in until the babies are back tomorrow and she goes back to her crate :( I feel really bad. I have been trying to push getting another dog to keep her company and give her someone to play with and get her energy out, but it's not going over too well with Mr. B. No worries, I am a stubborn and persistent one and I will try my best to keep pushing it. 

{eight} Do any of you have 2 dogs? Do you think in a way it makes it easier? Because that's what I am believing...so please say yes.

{nine} I was planning on posting this before working out because I thought if I didn't do it now I wouldn't do it. I forgot to take into consideration that I if I got comfy on the couch I wouldn't want to get up and work out. My b. 

{ten} I am really excited for 2011 and what this year holds! A couple months ago I had a list of 3 things I wanted to accomplish before 2010 was over:

   1. Be consistent and on time with tithe

   2. Have money in savings

   3. Expect a Smelly Baby.

  Well we accomplished 2/3 of 3 which isn't bad. It's just a bummer that we didn't accomplish the one that I really wanted.
Not to say we didn't try though!
 Sorry...TMI.
So that is for sure number one on the list for 2011 and I am feeling hopeful and confident that it will happen. At this point the odds are on our side :)
 I also want to continue tithing and saving, eat healthier and exercise and get back to couponing! 

{eleven} Sorry this post was all over the place. I need to get back in the groove.

Have a wonderful day!

Santa's Missing Reindeer

{aka Roxie's first snow experience}

Lucky for her the winter has just begun...

and we will be getting lots more of that white stuff to eat.

Have a wonderful Christmas weekend!!

Calling out Mckmama

I know Mckmama gets criticized for every.little.thing. she does. 

It's ridiculous.

I can't believe how so many people are so rude to her, have hate blogs about her and scrutinize her blog, her parenting skills and her as an individual. 

I am amazed every day.

I am usually in disbelief that people do that, but this weekend...

I was mad at her.

She makes her cake balls look so simple and pretty.

How is possible??

This picture is from her blog, I have no idea if I am allowed to show it or not, but I am giving her complete credit...it's from this post.

This was my 4th time making them.

You think I would improve over time.

Nope.

I was determined to have them look good this time.

I was trying all these new tricks.

Melting my chocolate a special way.

Letting the balls sit in the fridge over night.

I even bought the lollipop sticks {in the past I left them as balls}

But I am beginning to think that maybe Mckmama only showed us her two best ones out of the batch??

Because to be honest it goes a little something like this....

 Sprinkles everywhere.

Chocolate everywhere.

Every kind of utensil/technique you can think of to get the chocolate on in a non-sloppy way.

Whisk.

Toothpick.

Lollipop stick.

Spoons.

Greased spoons.

Baby spoons.
Greased fingers.
Greased hands.
Wax paper.
Mugs.
Bowls.
Pots.

 Oh and the lollipop sticks?

Failed.

The ball fell right down to the bottom.
Wonderful.

Dipping.

Dripping.

Coating.

Rolling.

Soaking.

Scooping.

Crumbling.

Disaster.

Yelling.

Throwing.

 It's a good thing these balls are so delicious because every single time they are a pain in my butt.

And after I consume about 5 while making them, 5 during the party, 3 with dinner, 3 after dinner and 2 for breakfast the next day,  they quickly become not only a pain in my butt but a part of my butt. 

::Cake balls welcome to the junk in my trunk::
{no picture for this one- don't worry}


In the end they are always a big hit and no one really cares what they look like.

You try your best to present them in such a way that no one will really notice that they look like some messed-up-sketchy-what-is-and-where-did-it-come-from blob thing.
Not sure "ball" would be the correct description in this case.
And of course they would wonder who it came from because, let's be honest, that plays a big part in whether or not we will eat something at a party!

 So anyways,  I am just putting it out there that Mckmama might have special powers to make her cake balls come out so perfectly.

 Or maybe it's just me....

And of course to finish the post...

Christmas pup at the church party. 

Whatever Wednesday

:: Where I write whatever comes to my mind....although that's not really true because these are technically premeditated thoughts::

Thanks again for your sweet comments and prayers. This is a great venting tool, but it's also nice to know that I am not alone and have many supporters and prayer partners :) Some of you asked for my email so I decided to make a new one just for my blog. It's thesmellylife@gmail.com. Super creative, I know. You don't even want to know how long it took me to come up with that email address!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mama G had mentioned maybe I could make some sort of private facebook group for those of us who were/are struggling with fertility.  I would put myself in that category, but I do know many couples try longer than 6 months and who knows that might even be us. But I know it's hard even after just 1 month of no success! I know there are already a lot of forums out there many that I have wasted hours of my days on, but maybe we can have our own little support system with people that we "know". Only the members of the group would be able to see what you and others write.  I don't want to start it and be the only member though, ha! But I think it's really important to vent every once in a while, know you're not alone, talk to people who understand, maybe get some tips even though I feel like we've tried them all! So let me know!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I may have bought this to do with Roxie...

I swear I cross a new dog weirdo line every day.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Yesterday I left my headphones on the couch for like 5 minutes, sure enough I walk into the room to find  Roxie chewing on something....

 She ripped the ear piece off. I guess I have a new gift idea for my stocking and looks like I will have to put working out on a hold just a little bit longer. Darn. Everyone knows you can't work out with out head phones, duh.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Last night we looked over and saw this...

Looked like she was on my laptop looking at herself.

Yes, my background is a picture of her. 

This obsession has already been made known, please keep the comments to yourself :)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I just found out Mr. B scheduled a hair appointment for me on Friday morning!

Early Christmas present- wohoo!

When you are young, newlywed and poor you get your hair done on special occassions or holidays. As an added bonus for him I guess it makes the gift idea easy! Last time I got my hair done was in July for our anniversary, so needless to say- it needs its BAD. 

The only thing is, I feel like my hair has finally grown and reached a bearable length I am worried that she will cut off more than I want and then I might cry like I always do after a haircut.

But it is in need of some sort of lift and style so I am excited for that!

I am also torn with color because Mr. B wants me to go lighter like I was for the wedding, 

but I am nervous for what my roots will look like.

Oh the suspense. Kills ya, right?

Although Valentine's is the next occasion so it wouldn't be too long ;) 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Lastly, Happy 2nd Birthday to my sweet little nephew!

He was a complete surprise, but has been a total blessing!

We wish we could be there to celebrate with him, he is growing way too fast!

 Now he can make it it known when he has had enough pictures with Auntie J. 

Not cool.

We only see him a few times a year, but cherish every moment we can!

Happy Hump Day!
{I've always wanted to say that..}

Tired

Today I am tired.

Tired of waiting.

Tired of constantly being stuck in this two week cycle.

Tired of disappointment.

Tired of starting my period.

Waiting two weeks.

Trying.

Waiting two weeks.

Unsuccessful.

Wait two weeks.

Try again.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Tired.

Tired of trying not to try.

Isn't that an oxymoron anyways?

This month for the first time we tried not to try.

Whatever the heck that means.

You think about not trying while trying, knowing it's the best time to try and still secretly hope it works.

Tiring.

Today I am half way through my two weeks of waiting.

I'm tired of this game.

Of the unknown.

The expectations.

The questions.

The hopefulness.

The let downs.

The confusions.

I'm tired of not being content.

I follow Kari Jobe on twitter and a few weeks ago her status was

"God is an on time God. His ways are higher..we just have to be willing to trust..even when it's very uncomfortable."

This is, for sure, a very uncomfortable situation. A situation where we have no control. Where we do all that we can, but in the end He is the one that performs that miracle and creates life. 

Praise the Lord for His grace, mercy and love. For saving my soul and allowing me to put my trust in Him. I can't imagine going through this journey without the hope I have in Him and His plan for Mr. B and I.

Although I have my angry moments, my sad moments and my tired moments, I still take hold that He knows what is best. 

I am thankful for a God who is my strength when I am weak.

And when I am tired.

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book.

Psalms 56:8

First Christmas Card

Here is our first Christmas Card- puppy and all!!

 I am hoping it look as good in person! I noticed I have a few strands of hair in my face in the main picture, but we didn't have another decent one that fit so I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be as noticeable on the card.

 I can not believe I saved $120 just by blogging about Shutterfly- how exciting!

 Merry Christmas to me :D 

There is still time, so if you haven't blogged about them..do it!

  

With Love Chartreuse Christmas Card

 I know it's a pretty small example, but that's what they give ya! 

I was hoping to blog about other misc. happenings, but my pictures weren't uploading because I don't have enough room on my computer. Frustrating. I love this new camera, but the picture files are so big that I have no more room to upload more. I'm sure it doesn't help that I have a way more than enough pictures on my computer, I just have a hard time deleting and letting go :)

 Mr. B will be helping me transfer files tonight though!

Oh my goodness! I almost forgot- did anyone watch Sarah Palin's Alaska last night??
How annoying was Kate? Ugh.
She was so rude!
It was ridiculous.
She has gone down.
down.
down.
I couldn't believe it.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!